Barrel Man says MERGE LEFT!

BORING

ok fuckos

post an image that will make me laugh. this way you don't have to write anything. i don't even care if you steal the image. i know i certainly did.







annnnddddd.....go!

YEAHHHHHHH

hey all you guys that wanted a PW blog...

HERE IT IS BITCHES WRITE SOMETHING

YEAAHHHHHHHHH
INITIATING NO TYPO-=MODE

SUCKKKKK MY BALLLLSSSSSSSSSSSSS

SERIOUSLY _______(ed.) and i threw a buig parety and mnnobody sas here at all so up yours bitouchessss

also fuck you

furtheromore

where are the posts?

i don't get it.

eiter wtrite something or dont

i dont give a shit
write whatever you want
i wrote abou tgoddamn bananas fuckit

BANANAXS

juytds make it all up

seriously nobody ivesves a poop

just make suonmthing up

even if you've been rrinking all night

if you made a good pseudoinym who cares?> just write something like this

DSAJAF;LKJDSAFLKJSALKJGDLKJs;lkja;lkjsa;lkjhsa up yours bieeetches

I WIN

On Infinity and Peepee

Infinity, commonly expressed as a “you know, like a sideways 8,” is defined as: “an indefinitely great number or amount.” It is a concept that has always been difficult for the majority of Americans to grasp, so I have taken the liberty to illustrate it here via a technique that they are intimately familiar with:

That which troubles us the most about infinity is its contradiction with our expectation that everything must end. After all, middle school gradually comes to a stop, monster truck rallies often end unexpectedly, and many people often die, particularly in the movie Death Race. But infinity has no such tangible ending. Every Calvin in the Infinity Peepee Spiral, you see, has experienced everything that has ever existed and ever will. Ever.

Observe: (Calvin numbers are listed in relative inward order from the top-most Calvin represented in the image, although it technically doesn’t matter because there are an infinite number of Calvins in each direction.)

Calvin #2.57e4 is randomly mashing his balls on a typewriter and has created an exact verbatim retype of all the works of Shakespeare, only every instance of the word “thee” is an instance of the word “fudgepacker.”

Calvin #1.345e2 can eat lightning and crap thunder.

Calvin #7.8e12 started that whole fucking Chuck Norris joke thing.

Calvin #78,056,946,864’s urine is leaking onto the ground in such a way that the droplets coalesce to form an exact image of God creating Adam from the Sistine Chapel ceiling.

Calvin #2.3456e78 exists permanently in a looping beat-for-beat remake of The Little Mermaid, including the deleted “pissing” scene.

Calvin #3.458e12 loves wieners, but all he can distinguish is his own. Bummer.

Calvin #4.58e9,682,749,550 is technically not anywhere near the inside of the observable universe and also apparently ate a lot of asparagus.

Calvin #9.596e8 has AIDS, causing an anomaly that ripples through the remaining Calvin Cloud at a speed roughly measured as 4.8 CU (Calvin Units) per second, expected to reach subatomic viability in our portion of the universe in 6.8 billion years, coincidentally when everyone will die of intergalactic AIDS.

Calvin #4.57e12 is technically Jesus, but don’t tell anyone, it’s still a really big secret.

Calvin #6.4568e23 caused the Big Bang when he rapidly turned around and whizzed on an electric fence.

Calvin #1.356e23 is urinating on a giant Dodge logo.

Calvin #9.342e134 is praying to a giant cross, which is WAY MORE OFFENSIVE THAN CALVIN URINATING ON SOMETHING BECAUSE THE ORIGINAL CHARACTER WOULD NEVER, EVER DO THAT. Just because rednecks stole something from Bill Watterson's mind doesn't mean that Christians get to do the same.

Calvin #4.6e44 is really just jerking off.

Calvin #1.323e11 can levitate your mom with his mind. But only your mom. And he has to have a few drinks first.

Calvin #4.678e32 looks exactly like me and experienced virtually all of the same things, only he fell off his bike in the 3^rd grade and broke his leg. Also he became a billionaire and runs a space tourism company. Fucker.

How To Blame Whitey In One Fell Swoop.

Recently, I was driving down the highway with a friend; we were headed to San Francisco to catch a concert. So we’re driving along, just shooting the breeze…when out of nowhere, a Volkswagen decides it would rather be DIRECTLY where my vehicle is than in the lane next to me. After the abrupt cut-off, I sighed and proclaimed, “Friggin’ white people!” My friend turns and says, “Dude, you can’t blame white people for everything bad that happens to you!” I replied, “…that sounds like a challenge.”

Ladies and Gentlemen, I would like to present:

Ways In Which White People Are Responsible For Everything Bad That Has Ever Happened. EVER.
(And don’t try to pull that whole “Adam and Eve were in Africa” card now…you’ve been making the “Every Major Biblical Figure Was White” bed for years now. Time to sleep in it, bitches.)

We’ll start by getting the major ones out of the way. American Slavery, Segregation, KKK, Assassination of Dr. King/JFK, and, most likely, Global Warming? Whitey. Syphilis, Influenza, Smallpox, Polio, Black Plague (ironic name), Tuberculosis, and probably AIDS? Thanks, Paleface. Reaganomics? …Reagan. Carrot Top, Gallagher, Carlos Mencia? Cracker Central. And I realize Mencia isn’t white, but I hate that d-bag.

Rather than rambling on (and because I’m feeling lazy), I’m going to just use one massive shortcut to prove my point.

Go ahead. TRY to tell me this asshole isn't responsible for all the pain I've ever felt.

PW SCIENCE CORNER - THE BANANA EFFECT

Have you ever been riding the subway or waiting in line for groceries and spotted a man in a banana suit? If you’re one of the millions of Americans who have witnessed this scenario, you may have noticed the massive amounts of attention the banana suit brings. This is no mere effect of color psychology or difference-interference. What few people know is that the banana suit carries with it an amazing scientific property: the banana suit amplifies and projects human body language.

A banana-suit man need not ever speak – this amplification of body language renders all spoken languages obsolete. The results of this discovery can have far-reaching effects: once banana-suit technology reaches developing nations, for example, inexpensive educational systems can prosper. International business between corporate executives can be carried out without the need of translators. And finally, dead mediums like television, radio, and satirical college newsletters will be a thing of the past.

Observe the following case examples:

Happy:

Sad:

Mad:

Really Sad:

Horny:

Creepy:

Slutty:

Lazy:

Drunk:

Threatening:

Quadriplegic:

Racist: